And now I became a professional cheater. Broke up with the third one I had. She went off from me. I made her to do so.
I want to take my breathe away, that was the only thing in my mind. Since she broke up with me, I have nothing to think other than that. But the confusion I had is how should I do it? It must be enjoyable,it must be painful and moreover I should know how I am dying...
I went to cashew estate. A vast area full of cashew trees. Every trees looks same. The breeze carried a hard smell of decayed fruits ruined my nose. It was hard enough to take my sense off. Just like I had a peg of local rum. I sat on the lap of earth, thinking about the attempt to suicide and checked the strength of rope I had with me.
"That's enough..." my mind said. He was the only friend I had and supported me every moment in my life. He encouraged me to climb the tree.
Tied the rope in one of its branch. Once again I checked the strength. It's not because of my doubt which I had every time. And the main reason for breaking up with girls is the same. But I just want to confirm that I will die if I use it for sure.
" I should not fail in this..." I said to myself.
Tied the rope and hooked in my neck. I loved the way I did. Balancing in the branch without holding anywhere else. Used both hands to make a hook. I did like what the people do in circus. The way to my death is an adventure.
I hit the ground so hardly. Just some coughs came out...! painful. I got what I expected, but only one thing. Pain...! The tree cheated me, she sacrificed one of her hand for my bloody shit life.
Now I feel like cow tied in a piece of timber. So hard to believe. The tree cheated me how my best friend did. She lied me that she never had a boyfriend while she was having one. And when I found that she rolled out from my words. That was the first and last awkward moment I had with her. Since then she didn't shared anything with me. Like so, the branch seemed so hard. But the look which lied and silently promised me my work will reach it's destiny.
Oh my lord...! I asked for pain and then death. You gave only pain. Now, from where should I get the second one? The death...?
The crowd carried me forward. It seems like they are running. Running for what? These people are loving their life, why I am not? What is so funny in life?
I don't have answers for these questions. I don't love my life. That's the only answer I have...
The vehicles ain't hit me. They have that much of control. I felt I was in a garden. The blossom in spring season. Some butterflies, some sparrows everything was staring at me just like I was a prince who went for walking through his yards. And the flowers where kissing me...!
Oops...! a thorn in rose plant drilled my hand. Blood pumped out. Rest of the plants where in a hurry making way for me to the other end. I reached almost safely to the end...!
Holly shit... I don't want to give it a try again. The whole world cheats me. I don't want to live in this world...!
-NAATTUKAARAN-
I want to take my breathe away, that was the only thing in my mind. Since she broke up with me, I have nothing to think other than that. But the confusion I had is how should I do it? It must be enjoyable,it must be painful and moreover I should know how I am dying...
I went to cashew estate. A vast area full of cashew trees. Every trees looks same. The breeze carried a hard smell of decayed fruits ruined my nose. It was hard enough to take my sense off. Just like I had a peg of local rum. I sat on the lap of earth, thinking about the attempt to suicide and checked the strength of rope I had with me.
"That's enough..." my mind said. He was the only friend I had and supported me every moment in my life. He encouraged me to climb the tree.
Tied the rope in one of its branch. Once again I checked the strength. It's not because of my doubt which I had every time. And the main reason for breaking up with girls is the same. But I just want to confirm that I will die if I use it for sure.
" I should not fail in this..." I said to myself.
Tied the rope and hooked in my neck. I loved the way I did. Balancing in the branch without holding anywhere else. Used both hands to make a hook. I did like what the people do in circus. The way to my death is an adventure.
I hit the ground so hardly. Just some coughs came out...! painful. I got what I expected, but only one thing. Pain...! The tree cheated me, she sacrificed one of her hand for my bloody shit life.
Now I feel like cow tied in a piece of timber. So hard to believe. The tree cheated me how my best friend did. She lied me that she never had a boyfriend while she was having one. And when I found that she rolled out from my words. That was the first and last awkward moment I had with her. Since then she didn't shared anything with me. Like so, the branch seemed so hard. But the look which lied and silently promised me my work will reach it's destiny.
Oh my lord...! I asked for pain and then death. You gave only pain. Now, from where should I get the second one? The death...?
The crowd carried me forward. It seems like they are running. Running for what? These people are loving their life, why I am not? What is so funny in life?
I don't have answers for these questions. I don't love my life. That's the only answer I have...
The vehicles ain't hit me. They have that much of control. I felt I was in a garden. The blossom in spring season. Some butterflies, some sparrows everything was staring at me just like I was a prince who went for walking through his yards. And the flowers where kissing me...!
Oops...! a thorn in rose plant drilled my hand. Blood pumped out. Rest of the plants where in a hurry making way for me to the other end. I reached almost safely to the end...!
Holly shit... I don't want to give it a try again. The whole world cheats me. I don't want to live in this world...!
-NAATTUKAARAN-
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